Goodbye 2004, Hello 2005

I spent this evening in the haunts of my old neighborhood. It was surreal to see the people I grew so close to celebrating and seeing me as an outsider. Very surreal indeed. Nonetheless, I was made welcome, and jumped into the passing of the year. There were no midnight kisses. I didn't have a partner on my arm. For the first time in sixteen years, I was alone for the coming of the new year. I can't say it was bad for me. Let's say it was a neutral feeling.

Tracey was there, going about her business, basically showing me she has more friends now than before. Good for her. Fuck. Sometimes I really miss her. I came so close to telling her that at Christmas, but she totally fucking rejected me. "Sick to her stomach" was what she said. Really.

Rob had to go tend his family issues, so I just came home. Mind you, it's 2 am, so it's not like I'm coming home early. Just the same, I left before things ended.

I have some really conflicting thoughts about all of this. I can't contain it all in words, either.

I guess goodbye to this year of transition. Hello to a new beginning. Hello 2005.