Thank you, roguespirit

You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 72% Expert! You have an extremly good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and advanced level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three levels's questions correct. This is an exceptional score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don't use them properly. You got an extremely respectable score.

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Live from the Dexter Lake Club

Ah, the smell of teriyaki chicken drifting through my room, that smokey concoction I made a few nights ago, risen from the chilling confines of the lower shelf of the ice box and reborn in my toaster. Oh, how you sizzle at me!

So I'm eating, pretty much minding my own business. Work was it's usual drawn out routine of answer phone, listen to problem, hang up phone, beat head on desk, and repeat. But I escaped early today only forty-five minutes late. I did have good news. I've found out that I'm going to recieve a company phone. *insert faux excitement* Upside is that I can be reached again. Downside is that I can be reached again. I don't really care at this point, as I've gotten used to having that blasted wireless leash in my pocket all the bloody time. It's another electronic tether. I don't see how I went without one, even now.

I just met someone who has no phone, be it mobile or not, no car, and no internet. I would have been straightjacketed and bolted to the floor of a rubber room in two days. Maybe less during football season. How do you not have a phone?

But a company phone means that, by default, I represent the company. Never mind that I'm officially a server monkey now, I still get to catch hell from the people who can't remember the password they set from the night before. I also have the utter pleasure of having to filter every single clown from the system and determine who else but me should be woken up at ten in the morning, the day after you stay out late, and the last thing you remember is that polishing off that empty bag of Taco Hell you spy in the room. Hell yeah, they need to be having this fun, too.

Not too terribly long ago, on a Saturday night, I got a call from an executive, who, at the time, was in Korea. Time zones, I must add, are a mystery to executives. The top floor does not have time zones. So he calls me at midnight, "Chris, I can't get into my computer."

"Well, gee, Clay, what would you like me to do about it?"

"Can you get it to turn on?" Please. I couldn't even do that for my wife.

"Clay. Have you tried closing the top and reopening it?"

Long staticky pause.

"Oh, shit, will you look at that."

So I left work early, eager to try a new approach to my ever-present fatigue. I went to sleep! Fucking right I did. It was great. Of course I knew that I'd have an alarm in the form of one of my parents calling me. I hit the bonus round; they both called. If I set their conversations side by side, the subject murals would be identical. Grandpa, new computer, Andy's broken radiator, how's the kids, and did Andy bring your etouffee to you.

But I had a nice long rest before they called. Got up and went to the Big Green Grocery Box. Shopped for some food, as my fridge is getting quite hollow.

Despite my weekend wuss streak, I still have poker money to lose, so I'm looking to join the game on Friday, kids. Todd, do you have any open chairs for Friday?

Ah, the hours burn away. So ends my thought processes for the day. We thank you for tuning in.