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Nagin's 100 Day State of the City Address
Sep. 12th, 2006 05:29 pmDear C. Ray:
It's been 100 days. Actually, if one really wanted to be a ballbuster, it's been more than a hundred, but let's give you an Orleans parish school board method of counting just for the benefit of the doubt. So, it's a hundred days since your inauguration. You've had months to gather your resources, concentrate your focus, and wipe the slate to forge the plans for a great NEW New Orleans.
And what do we get?
A fleur-de-lis on your face like some bizarre reverse-pigment Aaron Neville. Oh, yeah, and a promise for a long-range plan by the end of the year.
End of the year! Are you blind? Well, I guess you might be with that thing projected on your eyes.
Everybody knows that money's tight and FEMA's not paying out. Give us some news, dude. Tell me about some radical ideas for our future, some crazy out-of-the-box notion that will bring the life back to this town. People can't even go to a bar without worrying about thugs robbing the place, Ray, and that's just downright un-New-Orleans. If we can't get sloshed at will, what the hell are we doing here?
Let me give you a few pointers, Ray, for future reference. Pay close attention, okay?
You, sir, are the mayor. You are the person that controls the destinies of the police, the fire department, and the sewerage and water board. You have the biggest impact on city services. You are the one who takes the budget to the city council. Ray, sir, you are the guy that's supposed to make it happen. But you're making me promises. I can't cash your promises at the bank, bud. Your "blame now, plan later" approach doesn't get us the money for restoration and construction. Your lack of vision does not inspire the capitalists that make the world go round. And, above all, you being such a wishy washy, practically invisible figure for the past few months is an open invitation for the world to think we can't handle any of the above tasks. As of right now, no one has any faith in your plans, because...tada...you don't have any! And you let Steve Meffert go? That's what told me you were plumb out of ideas to save the city.
Do you need some help, partner? Well check this out. Get your crime fighting in order. Law enforcement is in complete disarray and needs a total overhaul, from the guys on patrol to the district attorney's office. Oust the thugs and bring our quality of life back, Ray. Want me to stay? That's fight number one.
Next up is your infrastructure. No way are you going to attract the business, or the residents, when the water system is leeching 85 million gallons a day and the subsidence is turning the streets into roller coasters. This task supersedes housing. Why? Because you can't get your houses fixed if you can't drive the materials to the house. And you can't keep the materials in the house if you can't keep the thugs from stealing the goods. See? It's like a puzzle, Ray. Just open the box, man, then the pieces start to fall into place.
Listen, here's a radical notion. Try to follow my lead, but do speak up when it gets too heady for ya'. You, and your staff, keep chatting it up about getting the funding for smaller projects, but that FEMA is dragging its feet on the big money. Ray, you're not going to get the big money without the big plans. So what are your big plans? You got nuthin, dude. But you could. You just might, if you tried. No one else is thinking about New Orleans. You have to take the lead, or the rest of the state will take that recovery money and spend it on useful things like paper mill subsidies and equestrian facilities. Mr. Mayor, you are obligated to lead the way.
Ponder this, your honor. During the Great Depression, the entire of the United States was in the hole. Consider that to be your benchmark, because it's not too damned far off from our situation. Most of the populace had lost their homes and all of their possessions, lost their jobs, and pretty much lost their way. Rather dark times, don't you think? Familiar as well. Along comes FDR, who institutes a most liberal idea: the Works Progress Administration. The government embraces the have-nots, giving them a new existence in exchange for rebuilding the infrastructure of our nation. Ray, did you know that City Park, Tad Gormley stadium and all of the roads and bridges therein, were constructed during by the WPA? Did you know that 20,000 WPA workers lived right there in the Park, occupying what would now be the north golf course? Workers living in City Park? Doesn't sound so strange, does it? Rather reminiscent of the past year.
Ray, I'm not saying you could ever be Franklin Roosevelt. Far from it in fact. You're not near pale enough and you'd totally clash with that wicker wheelchair look. However, you could sure go a long way by teaming with Habitat for Humanity and the other housing foundations working in town. The Musicians' Village is a prime example of initiative in housing. Brand new New Orleans-style shotguns, made with modern and recycled materials, jacked up high enough to survive flooding, and even a choice of eighteen colors. Eighteen, Ray. You have legions of organizations wanting to help. Quit jacking around with the ol' boys and start researching the material. Share the stage, build the vision, save New Orleans.
Ray, I see this as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a politician, a mayor for Christ's sake, to build a legacy that would last generations. Obviously, President Bystander (thank you, Bruce) is more concerned with leaving a legacy of military spending and a no-vacancy sign at Arlington, not saving an American city. And the governor? Do you even have to ask?
Mr. Mayor, cut the bullshit and get down to business. This is not a debate on whether to keep MTV on channel 27. This is our future, man. If you can't handle it, get the hell out of the way.
Yours in debris,
Mr. C. Penguin
Hot-Headed Constituent Who Didn't Vote For You and Has the URL for Your Recall Campaign
It's been 100 days. Actually, if one really wanted to be a ballbuster, it's been more than a hundred, but let's give you an Orleans parish school board method of counting just for the benefit of the doubt. So, it's a hundred days since your inauguration. You've had months to gather your resources, concentrate your focus, and wipe the slate to forge the plans for a great NEW New Orleans.
And what do we get?
A fleur-de-lis on your face like some bizarre reverse-pigment Aaron Neville. Oh, yeah, and a promise for a long-range plan by the end of the year.
End of the year! Are you blind? Well, I guess you might be with that thing projected on your eyes.
Everybody knows that money's tight and FEMA's not paying out. Give us some news, dude. Tell me about some radical ideas for our future, some crazy out-of-the-box notion that will bring the life back to this town. People can't even go to a bar without worrying about thugs robbing the place, Ray, and that's just downright un-New-Orleans. If we can't get sloshed at will, what the hell are we doing here?
Let me give you a few pointers, Ray, for future reference. Pay close attention, okay?
You, sir, are the mayor. You are the person that controls the destinies of the police, the fire department, and the sewerage and water board. You have the biggest impact on city services. You are the one who takes the budget to the city council. Ray, sir, you are the guy that's supposed to make it happen. But you're making me promises. I can't cash your promises at the bank, bud. Your "blame now, plan later" approach doesn't get us the money for restoration and construction. Your lack of vision does not inspire the capitalists that make the world go round. And, above all, you being such a wishy washy, practically invisible figure for the past few months is an open invitation for the world to think we can't handle any of the above tasks. As of right now, no one has any faith in your plans, because...tada...you don't have any! And you let Steve Meffert go? That's what told me you were plumb out of ideas to save the city.
Do you need some help, partner? Well check this out. Get your crime fighting in order. Law enforcement is in complete disarray and needs a total overhaul, from the guys on patrol to the district attorney's office. Oust the thugs and bring our quality of life back, Ray. Want me to stay? That's fight number one.
Next up is your infrastructure. No way are you going to attract the business, or the residents, when the water system is leeching 85 million gallons a day and the subsidence is turning the streets into roller coasters. This task supersedes housing. Why? Because you can't get your houses fixed if you can't drive the materials to the house. And you can't keep the materials in the house if you can't keep the thugs from stealing the goods. See? It's like a puzzle, Ray. Just open the box, man, then the pieces start to fall into place.
Listen, here's a radical notion. Try to follow my lead, but do speak up when it gets too heady for ya'. You, and your staff, keep chatting it up about getting the funding for smaller projects, but that FEMA is dragging its feet on the big money. Ray, you're not going to get the big money without the big plans. So what are your big plans? You got nuthin, dude. But you could. You just might, if you tried. No one else is thinking about New Orleans. You have to take the lead, or the rest of the state will take that recovery money and spend it on useful things like paper mill subsidies and equestrian facilities. Mr. Mayor, you are obligated to lead the way.
Ponder this, your honor. During the Great Depression, the entire of the United States was in the hole. Consider that to be your benchmark, because it's not too damned far off from our situation. Most of the populace had lost their homes and all of their possessions, lost their jobs, and pretty much lost their way. Rather dark times, don't you think? Familiar as well. Along comes FDR, who institutes a most liberal idea: the Works Progress Administration. The government embraces the have-nots, giving them a new existence in exchange for rebuilding the infrastructure of our nation. Ray, did you know that City Park, Tad Gormley stadium and all of the roads and bridges therein, were constructed during by the WPA? Did you know that 20,000 WPA workers lived right there in the Park, occupying what would now be the north golf course? Workers living in City Park? Doesn't sound so strange, does it? Rather reminiscent of the past year.
Ray, I'm not saying you could ever be Franklin Roosevelt. Far from it in fact. You're not near pale enough and you'd totally clash with that wicker wheelchair look. However, you could sure go a long way by teaming with Habitat for Humanity and the other housing foundations working in town. The Musicians' Village is a prime example of initiative in housing. Brand new New Orleans-style shotguns, made with modern and recycled materials, jacked up high enough to survive flooding, and even a choice of eighteen colors. Eighteen, Ray. You have legions of organizations wanting to help. Quit jacking around with the ol' boys and start researching the material. Share the stage, build the vision, save New Orleans.
Ray, I see this as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a politician, a mayor for Christ's sake, to build a legacy that would last generations. Obviously, President Bystander (thank you, Bruce) is more concerned with leaving a legacy of military spending and a no-vacancy sign at Arlington, not saving an American city. And the governor? Do you even have to ask?
Mr. Mayor, cut the bullshit and get down to business. This is not a debate on whether to keep MTV on channel 27. This is our future, man. If you can't handle it, get the hell out of the way.
Yours in debris,
Mr. C. Penguin
Hot-Headed Constituent Who Didn't Vote For You and Has the URL for Your Recall Campaign
