So a boss walks into a server room

I dodge his scrutiny in the morning hours, spreading my technical cheer throughout the office. The Boss, hereafter known as The Boss, notices the hectic pace of our days in the trenches. At one point, a guy comes in with this befuddled look. He'd lost his data. But the Penguin fixed him all up, right there in front of...The Boss.

Two o' clock rolls around, time for our "meeting." We travel all along to a meeting room at the far end of the building. First thing he does is get some HR wench on the phone.

I'm thinking (a) a promotion and a fat raise, or (b) my ass is fired.

Out comes a "letter of caution." Lovely. The email incident had come to bite me on the ass. So I sign the form, giving some brief background on the bullshit we've been going through. It's to no avail, though. I shouldn't have fired off an email with a pretty much open threat to a co-worker. Goes to show you that shooting off emails in a state of complete fury is not always a welcome boost for the old career.

Ah, but here's the deal. The Boss tells me that he doesn't want to lose me. He's transferring me to another "opportunity". I was no longer working the local account. I had to turn in my keys, my ID badge (I have three left), the parking tag and my key card. Today was my last day on site.

So today was my last day on site!!! I'm now an enterprise level resource operating across the entire account. That's like a fucking gift. I'll work from home and travel as needed for projects. And I don't have to suffer another day of hellish demands from the local managers.

And the big kicker? They have no idea how many things were tied together by me. User accounts, email, security, file integrity, backups, system integration. I was the only one. Now they'll have to wait for a temp, while my knowledge capital walks right the fuck out that motherfucking door.

The Boss was so apologetic, even, that this was happening. I was like,"Dude, I'm so excited! When can I start?"

Zero regrets. I'd like to string up the tattle-tale, but I got the sweeter slice of pie. Fuck them.

Fetch!

So, in a roundabout way, this creature ended up in my yard, and subsequently, due to the foul weather, my house:



Now I'm in a quandry. If this were a hopeless animal, I might be more inclined to bring him to a shelter. But he's cute. We think he was probably house-broken, although we haven't tested that theory. I think he knows all of two voice commands: "Outside!" and "NO!" I don't know who did it, but he's been dubbed "Max".

Don't know what to do with now. The vet says he's got heartworms, but it's treatable. One thing is for sure. Max does NOT like cats. While in the vet's exam room, the dog kept growling and howling at pretty much nothing. Tracey and the vet were both a little baffled until they saw a picture of a cat on the wall. Sure enough, they took the picture down, and he stopped growling. Took it back out and he started howling at the picture. Crazy dog!

But what do I with him?