Home again

( Cut for your avoidance pleasure, the overly verbose tale of a Penguin lost between layovers... )

Penguin in da haus.

Before I retire for the night, I wanted to point out the merits of...the sign. In case you missed it, I asked what was wrong with this sign:



Prepare yourself for the shocking answer(s).

Yeah, I said answers, because there were actually more than one. There's a much bigger one than all the others, but we'll get to that in a moment.

ef_ex_ay, you get two quatloos for seeing what would use a comma. However, I subtract a quatloo for you giving too much credit to Texans for being green. This place is actually a division of Hyatt, so it's really just a money-grubbing, cost-cutting tactic of a greedy company. But I like you, so I'm giving you that quatloo back for the hell of it. oh_really_now also gets two quatloos, as she did defend what ought to be the proper usage of a comma in that situation, illustrating it in a colorful way, and mentioning a trashy Kentwood slut all in the same comment. Brilliant work.

project_mayhem_, fluffworld, and amicablebitch all get two quatloos for questioning a bizarre proposal: a towel hanging on the floor. Just how does one do that, anyway? fluffworld, you get an extra two quatloos for nailing the extreme use of capitalization and lamenting the poor lost semi-colon.

trp, I hand you five quatloos for refusing to accept any work that would dare to begin with flagrant slang spelling, nay a purposeful misspelling. More power to you! And I'm giving you the rest of my quatloos because you're just so damned hot.

But herein, children, lies the big load. Look past that first whale of a sentence at the top, get over the spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Get back to the towel. You see, it's not just a question of how you'd hang it on the floor. Let's just say we hang it on the floor, that hang means whatever it is we do to put it on the floor. Got that?

So, follow this. I hang it anywhere, which means you're not going to give me towels. Anywhere. But if I hang it on the floor, you'll give me new towels.

Ah, hey, wait a second. You just said if I hung it anywhere, I wouldn't get towels. Isn't the floor anywhere in anywhere?

The towel is on the floor, it's anywhere, ergo, I will not get fresh towels. Anywhere. Ever.

Wow. What a shitty hotel.