nolapenguin | decanted banter

My writing is restless. I have a few things in my head.

So I get this email from my dad, something about the "Birk plan". Basically it's one of those dumb chain emails that talks about taking that $85 billion for the AIG bailout and giving it to the taxpayers of the US. So I replied with the following. I need to know if that was appropriate.

Fabulous notion, but there are holes in this. Say we don't bail them out. Consider these points:

1. Would that redistribution of money include the international parties impacted by the failure of a trillion dollar institution? Or make up for the milllions, and or billions, of dollars lost in the global economy?
2. Can a quarter of a million dollars per taxpayer make up for the value lost in investment funds affected by the international market drop generated by an AIG failure?
3. In the grand scheme of things, isn't $85 billion a drop in the bucket compared to the larger, and mostly ignored, black hole on the US financial horizon? I speak not of this paltry $750 billion dollar bill for saving the mortgage industry, which I do not support, but instead the $17 trillion dollar debt the Social Security system is about to incur when the full baby boomer population retires. That concern outweighs the current financial crisis, the cost of the middle east wars and the damage from five major hurricane landfalls...combined.
4. What is the sum value of the bonuses and golden parachutes received by the executives of not only these thrifts, but the general group of failed billion dollar firms in the past five years? I'm being generous since the seed of this current crisis began at the end of the dot-com bust, around 2001-2002. At the time the only cash-current generating momentum was already over-valued real estate. It's the higher-level executives, and government regulators, that not only created, but heavily leveraged, the sub-prime conditions that failed. Are they going to help foot the bill? Cause it sure seems like they should.
5. Finally, and this is a trick question, who does that $85 billion dollars belong to? It's collectively already our money. But the target of this proposed windfall would include parties that have never added up to a $250,000 contribution to the tax coffers. Wouldn't we limit that proceed to the net amount already paid in taxes over the lifetime of the taxpayer? The payment plan would get a little murky, and likely debated, at that point.

Not trying to burst the fun bubble of this original email, because I know it was in jest, but, as a representative of the Generation X taxpayers, the above facts weigh heavily on my fiscal mind. I don't like the idea of a bailout at all. I'm already worried about paying for your retirement! :D

Love and dollar bills,

Penguin

Too harsh? Too brainy a reply for something that was just a goofy, and absurdly out of touch, chain mail? Bah. I had to say it. He's ranting about Obama lately, telling me what Democrats suck and not giving me any part of McCain's platform that gives a shit about the American public. And he likes Palin. Whatevs.

***

For my friends knowledgeable about firearms and big things that go "blam!" in the night, I give you two neat little things I found today.

First, the Metal Gear Solid rubber band gun. It's a one-off, not for sale, but I'd be first in line to buy it. Link has a video of it in action.

Second, and this is pretty badass, the XM25 Individual Air Burst Weapon. Doesn't just look like the Space Marines rifles from Aliens, but performs like it too. It's just missing the flame-thrower. Info and specs at the link.

Have a great Friday, kids!!!

decanted banter

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