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As grass season is in full swing now at Hacienda de Pengin, the weekly ritual of taming the fierce greens has returned. Armed with the new mower, I can cut the new grass, both front and back. Today was my second time since we laid out the sod.
So I wheel out the mower, sliding it down the ramp I recently built, and get it ready for action. One of the items I was paying close attention to was this wheel assembly in back, as it had collapsed on the first mowing, the victim of a bolt gone missing. I tilt up the handle, leaning the whole mower up so I reach under there. I get a handful of something, though. It's not grass.
Ew. It's cobweb.
I lift a little further to eye that wingnut and something falls out of the cubby the bolt is in. Looking down, I catch the glistening black shine of a bug scurrying up a blade of grass.
A spider.
With a bright red motherfucking hourglass on its abdomen.
Several thoughts are rolling around in my head at this point. Do I drop the mower and try to stomp on her? This is on the grass, mind you, so it's a fair chance I miss in the underbrush. Add to that I'm wearing my yard crocs, so just how strong a stomp I can muster is questionable. Do I move at all? The thing is about six inches from my foot, which, in turn, is wrapped in a foam shoe FULL of holes. And I'm not talking about a spider sunning itself, this baby's got forelegs up and ready to rumble.
No. I gently lay the lawnmower down and slowly back off, keeping track of the arachnid. I find a suitable poking stick (sorry, the little boy in me has to mess with the bug) and reapproach the spider to confirm my worst fears. Yes, indeed, after several jousting matches, the red hourglass is quite visible, as was the aggressive defence when backed into a corner. Black widow spider, probably inch and quarter long. And then I lost it. I was trying to kill it mind you, not just play pattycakes, but I did lose it in the grass. At which point I cranked up the six horsepower Briggs and Stratton and hopefully mowed the bitch to spider purgatory.
I sprayed around the shed, but black widows are pretty impervious to poison. Time to get more epi-pens.
Ew. I'm still creeped out.
So I wheel out the mower, sliding it down the ramp I recently built, and get it ready for action. One of the items I was paying close attention to was this wheel assembly in back, as it had collapsed on the first mowing, the victim of a bolt gone missing. I tilt up the handle, leaning the whole mower up so I reach under there. I get a handful of something, though. It's not grass.
Ew. It's cobweb.
I lift a little further to eye that wingnut and something falls out of the cubby the bolt is in. Looking down, I catch the glistening black shine of a bug scurrying up a blade of grass.
A spider.
With a bright red motherfucking hourglass on its abdomen.
Several thoughts are rolling around in my head at this point. Do I drop the mower and try to stomp on her? This is on the grass, mind you, so it's a fair chance I miss in the underbrush. Add to that I'm wearing my yard crocs, so just how strong a stomp I can muster is questionable. Do I move at all? The thing is about six inches from my foot, which, in turn, is wrapped in a foam shoe FULL of holes. And I'm not talking about a spider sunning itself, this baby's got forelegs up and ready to rumble.
No. I gently lay the lawnmower down and slowly back off, keeping track of the arachnid. I find a suitable poking stick (sorry, the little boy in me has to mess with the bug) and reapproach the spider to confirm my worst fears. Yes, indeed, after several jousting matches, the red hourglass is quite visible, as was the aggressive defence when backed into a corner. Black widow spider, probably inch and quarter long. And then I lost it. I was trying to kill it mind you, not just play pattycakes, but I did lose it in the grass. At which point I cranked up the six horsepower Briggs and Stratton and hopefully mowed the bitch to spider purgatory.
I sprayed around the shed, but black widows are pretty impervious to poison. Time to get more epi-pens.
Ew. I'm still creeped out.
